


But You Needed Proof

by formosus_iniquis



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon!Shane, M/M, priest!Ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-18 18:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formosus_iniquis/pseuds/formosus_iniquis
Summary: A young priest is let in on a secret - demonic possession is real, and terrifying. But they are laughably easy to exorcise, and Ryan  has caught the attention of one them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not quite sure what this is but here it is anyway.

Sure, this isn't what you thought you would be doing with your life. There's something out there, in the world, that's bigger than you. Bigger than all of us. Maybe it is  _ this _ . Maybe religion is the answer.

At least that's what Ryan had been telling himself every day since he started seminary. Since childhood, well no that wasn't right, but at least since he was a teenager he had felt this indescribable feeling that there was something else out there, something  _ big _ . All it took was a gen ed requirement in college, a religion class that his advisor had seemed surprised to even see on the course registry to send him down this path he had never even imagined.

He wasn't even  _ religious _ .

Not like this anyway. Not in the change your major and lose your field specific scholarship to become a priest sort of way.

He had belief. He had a firm, ardent, unyielding belief in  _ something _ . And maybe that was enough, it got him here didn't it. No one seemed to care what feeling he had driving his hail Mary's or why he felt a tension that made his grip on his rosary tighten when he looked out into the dark for too long.

Belief was belief. It was all the same so long as you weren't too vocal about who you or what you really put your faith in.

Maybe it was that faith of a different kind that got him here.

For all the time he put into becoming what he was, Ryan was hesitant to call it divine intervention; but it was hard to deny that someone hadn't been guiding him here.

He was a priest, a Father, the title was something he had worked hard for but didn't fit the way he hoped it would.

“Father Thomas, Ryan.” Introductions were awkward and sometimes not accepted among other men of the cloth, but Ryan tried anyway he could only take being called Father Bergara so many times. “I was excited to get your message, but I have to say I'm confused about what you would need from me.”

“Well, Ryan,” he said, stumbling over the lack of formality but acknowledging the preference was more than most of the older priests would do, “I have a problem I need some help with, and with this specific matter in mind you come highly regarded by your seminary instructors.”

Pleasure at being noticed for something warred with an apprehension over not knowing what it was. It was a heady cocktail that settled something like anxiety in his stomach.

“You were vague in your message Father, I'm sorry but I'm not even sure what it is you need help with.”

“You've heard of possession, Ryan?”

“Well, yes, of course but-”

“Its real, you know, we still get called to banish demons who have taken hold of the bodies of friends and family.”

Ryan was wide eyed, not in shock, but in the firework up the spine feeling of being told you were right. There was something else out there some other force, even if it was the powers of hell. 

“I need you,” Father Thomas continued, “because I can't do this anymore, so I'm training you, the work isn't hard but it's draining and I need someone to take up the mantle.”

It was the easiest yes that Ryan had ever been given the chance to say.

Their first trip was a short one, you didn't think of this thing happening at all but if you were to imagine it Southern California wouldn't be the setting, yet there they were. It was a young man, a casting decision Ryan hadn't expected either, but as they climbed the stairs to the man's room Father Thomas gave a warning. “This isn't what the movies make it out to be, the only way to really know what to expect is to experience it but you have to understand before we go in that you won't see the dramatics of a horror movie.”

“A demon is inside the man we're about to see,” Ryan said, his surprising disbelief coming out in a sharp whisper, “what about that isn't dramatic?”

Father Thomas shook his head and Ryan felt like a school child being scolded, “Watch and you'll understand.”

The room they walked into was normal. It didn't reek of the putrid air of sulfur or sickly flesh. It wasn't filled with a tension of potential failure. It was just a room. A lived in room. The room of an man in his twenties, with clothing in piles on the floor and his belongings scattered on every flat surface beside the odd dish or empty can that had yet to be cleaned.

The man they were there to see wasn't tied to his bed with the sheets pushed down around his knees from where he struggled with his binding like was thematically expected. He was just laying there, sedately, smugly even, with his hands folded across his stomach and his legs crossed at the ankle where they stretched in front of him. 

It was the eyes though, that was where you could see something there that shouldn't be. They weren't solid black, they didn't have a slit pupil, they weren't what the movies told you they would be. But they held a knowledge, a blank distant stare of a being that knew the eons and everything they contained, something old and powerful, something that didn't belong here.

It chilled Ryan all the way down his spine and into the soles of his feet, a feeling of discomfort and instinctual fear that a procedural horror movie had never created.

Then it spoke.

“The boys are here! Or should I call you the Fathers? You'll forgive me if I'm a bit unfamiliar with the proper terms, it's been so long since I got to play up here.”

“You don't belong here demon,” Father Thomas said.

“Well that's not fair, who among us can say they really belong anywhere.” The demon said speaking over Father Thomas, “The world you humans created, so accepting yet so condemning, it's a paradox that's driving you all to misery.”

“I will ask you to leave of your own power,” Father Thomas commanded.

“But we all just got here,” the demon said, contorting the face of the body he possessed into something unrecognizable, “I'm still trying to get the hang of this thing. Is this a smirk?” It locked eyes with Ryan and he felt his heart seize inside his chest. “Well shoot, the look on the cute one’s face says no, sorry Father T gonna need some more time to field test this baby.”

The two started to talk over top of each other now, their words dancing together in Ryan's ears like some kind of satanic tango.

“What's  _ your _ name, cute one?”

“You won't speak my name-”

“Not what you expected is it?”

“from borrowed lips demon!”

“You humans are all the same.”

“Don't answer its questions, Father.”

“Your mother sucks cocks in hell,”

“In the name of the Father,”

“that's what you all expect.”

“the son, and the holy spirit,”

“Oh but you do feel different don't you?”

“I command you! Be gone!”

“Ryan! Oh yes!”

“Be gone!”

“I think I-”

“Be gone!”

Whatever was supposed to finish the demon’s sentence was lost as Father Thomas’ final command rang out through the room. The change was as immediate as Ryan had been led to believe but had the same anticlimax as the rest of the encounter. There was no pit that opened up to hell to pull the demon back in. No billowing black smoke of demonic energy pouring out of the mouth. Not even a sound. Just those eyes. That haunting look of dissociated knowledge gone and replaced with a vacant confusion. It was an emptiness that felt so sudden Ryan felt like it changed the feeling of the entire room.

That was it.

Demons were real, they could and did roam the earth by stealing the bodies of unsuspecting humans, and they were laughably easy to get rid of.

There was no latin, you didn’t need holy water. It could all be over and done with by saying a few words with enough conviction. You give them a chance to leave on their own, you call upon the holy trinity, and command them to leave once for each part. That was it. They were gone, cast out from that body and sent somewhere, back to the planes of hell or just away.

It was… 

Boring. Christ, it was boring.

Ryan had traveled the country, taking up the mantle of demon banisher, and that fear he had once felt over the very existence of these beings was replaced by this bone chilling, mind numbing boredom.

So he went back to California. Maybe it was out of hope that a familiar place would help him shake this indifference, maybe he just wanted to confront Father Thomas. As he had restored humanity to others, Ryan worried that he had lost some of his. The emotion that used to come so easily, replaced with a bland sort of blankness.

It was his own sort of hell, and the irony wasn’t lost.

It was an inescapable sort of duty. If he wasn’t finding cases on his own then he had frantic families coming to request his help. Ryan was starting to understand why the Father had used him as a means of retirement, it was the kind of job that made a man start to question his faith.

“Father, you have to help.” 

Ryan was approached within hours of being back in the state, having made the mistake of seeking, not sanctuary but at least something in the church. He’s tall, he’s frantic, he’s handsome.The kind of handsome that if this were a movie, or a story, or anything but the life Ryan has found himself in it would lead to a crisis of conscience. 

“Father, my brother, he’s been possessed. I can’t believe I’m even here. I can’t believe this is real.” 

But this was real life, and Ryan had elements of his faith that he wasn’t very faithful in. There were things in this world that were too big to be understood by man, and maybe God was one of those things. Or maybe God wasn’t there at all. He had and would maintain his vow to the church, but if whoever was up there had a problem with him finding a guy cute they could suck it.

If whoever was up there had a problem with his casual blasphemy they’d yet to say anything.

The man wouldn’t meet Ryan’s eyes, which was just as well the church had enough trouble with its image without adding a semi-closeted priest taking advantage of a man in need.

“Take me to him,” Ryan said, “I'll do what I can.”

Eyes flickered to Ryan's for just a second, not long enough to be called eye contact but just long enough to ignite a feeling of something that Ryan wished he could name. “You don't sound so sure,” he said, “thought your type was supposed to be sure in their faith?”

He was unknowingly echoing the very thoughts Ryan had just been battling, but the doubting slope of his mouth lit a fire in Ryan that he hasn't been expecting.

“I'm sure that I can help you,” Ryan insisted.

The responding rise of an eyebrow was temptation itself. Temptation to admit that his faith  _ was _ waning, to admit that exorcism was little more than a stern talking to before sending your kid to time out. Temptation in the more traditional sense.

“And, and your brother,” Ryan finished, realizing just why he was getting that look.

“Shane.”

“I-I'm sorry?”

“Yeah, sure call me Shane.”

“Oh, oh, okay, sure. Shouldn't we head over to where your brother is?”

“Hmm,” this Shane had a strange look on his face, almost like he couldn’t control what they were doing, “oh yeah I suppose, he’s really not going anywhere.”

“Um, okay but I really think-”

“No, let’s go Father Bergara, I look forward to seeing you work.”

As he got in the car with Shane he felt something he hadn’t in so long he didn’t have a name for it. A cold trickle of a feeling that dripped down his spine.

“So tell me, Father, what is that drove such a cute guy like you into the arms of the church.”

“Oh well, I mean appearance doesn’t-”

“It must be hard, to believe in something that you can’t see, someone who has made no attempt to prove to you that they are real.”

“Isn’t that the point of faith, to believe in what you can’t prove.”

“Seems like a fine line between faith and madness, at least the bad guys have the decency to prove they’re real every now and then.”

“I wouldn’t call possessing an innocent person, decent,” Ryan said, watching his driver from the side of his eye.

“Who’s to say who’s innocent, and who’s to say they didn’t ask for this?”

“ _ They _ usually do,” Ryan said. 

He caught Shane’s eye for a fraction of a second so small he wasn’t sure it actually happened. It left the car feeling serious and the air heavy before Shane laughed, drawing a nervous chuckle out of Ryan too.

“Guess it’s a bad idea to play devil’s advocate for an actual devil, and against a priest no less.”

If this was a test, Ryan wasn’t sure he passed, but he laughed and agreed anyway.

Arriving at the house left Ryan feeling the newly ordained priest that Father Thomas had trained. It felt eerily similar to that first house that the Father had taken him too.

“He’s upstairs,” Shane said. “I’ll let you do what you’ve got to do. I don’t think it’s something I want to see, violence isn’t really my thing.”

Ryan didn’t correct him. It was really the Christian thing to do, to preserve the mystery of the experience.

The door to the bedroom opened with a creak as he pushed it open. “Dude, finally I’m starved, forgot these little flesh sacks need-”

“I will ask you to leave of your own power,” Ryan said.

“How the fuck did you get here, this place was supposed to be abandoned?”

“In the name of the father-”

“Oh that fucking traitor!”

“the son, and the holy spirit: be gone!”

“He fucking brought you here!”

“Be gone!”

“I’ll kill him!”

“Be gone!”

The shift in the air was palpable, but not in the way it typically was. The demon was gone, yes, but something powerful was here.

“Even when you barely believe in what you’re doing, there’s so much power. You are amazing,” Shane said.

“What are you?”

“I thought you humans never forgot your first? I thought we had something special, Ry.”

Shane finally looked him in the eyes now, a long deliberate look that finally let that spark of recognition bloom into a full flame. There it was, that same haunting stare of something old and powerful.

“I’m going to ask you to leave of your own power,” Ryan said, feeling true fear for the first time in months.

“No you won’t, Ryan. Because you don’t actually believe that you can, and you don’t want to.”

“Yes, I do. There are forces at work here-”

“My forces!” Shane snapped, “I clawed my way back to this plane after that doddering old dick inconvenienced me and it was for  _ you.” _

“What are you talking about? I'm going to ask you to leave that innocent man of your own power!”

“Why are you wasting all this energy, putting all your faith in such bullshit? You don't even truly believe in this God, I can  _ feel  _ it and yet you go around exorcising demons in his name. Why?”

“What I do is no business of yours. Leave this man and go back to the pits you came from.”

“If I leave he'll just die all the same. This is as much my body now as it was his, and why would I give it up when you like it so much?”

“I don't-”

“Lying is a sin, Father. I saw you look, he really is tempting and I would know being the, well you know. It was just going to waste plugged up to all those wires and machines, a coma he'd never wake up from. A consideration I made for you, Ryan.”

“Why,” Ryan croaked.

“Because I like you, Ryan, I did try to tell you before that meddling Father T ruined all my fun the first time. Your very being is just,” Shane took a deep inhale, face melting into an expression that seemed barely human, “intoxicating. And as a being fueled by faith you're the best thing a man could ask for.”

Demons were beings of temptation. It was hardly new information, but this was something he hadn't prepared for. This feeling of being wanted, needed, this feeling of wanting. It was something more than Ryan had felt in a long time.

“You'd never be bored, Ryan, not like this.” Shane had come up behind him now, his breath and body warm where it brushed against Ryan. His hand ghosted against Ryan's shoulder and down his arm leaving goosebumps in its wake. “With your faith and my power we could do  _ anything _ , anything you wanted.”

Anything was a powerful word, one that conjured up thoughts of everything and nothing. The kind of word that empty promises were built on. The kind a temptor used to make you fill the gaps in your own undoing.

“Shut up, Shane. I'm not going to let you lure me to the dark side with promises of empty bullshit.”

Shane took his hand, making it so they were pressed together down the length of that arm and keeping his back pulled to Shane's front. 

“My word is never empty. I pissed off some pretty powerful people to get you to come back to California; but then I didn't invent an entire class just to get you to join the cloth. I'm just one of a collection of admirers but give me a chance to prove I'm the best.” He spoke in a whisper that sent a shiver down Ryan's spine, his lips so close that they would just barely brush the shell of Ryan's ear as he spoke.

Territory was being crossed from tempting to persuasive.

“I can't,” Ryan said.

“I can show you the world the way you've never seen it, those places where magic and reality kiss and the rules of the universe bend to the will of whoever is strongest. You would never be bored again. Just be mine.”

“I can't,” Ryan said, a rejection that sounded hollow even in his own ears.

“You can! It's so easy to say yes, Ry, just come with me.”

“Be gone!”

“Not much feeling in that one.”

“Be gone!”

“Wasn't there a certain threesome you were supposed to invoke before this?”

“Be gone!” Ryan said, his voice nothing more than a choked out sob.

Shane was still there. That presence, that warmth, those  _ eyes  _ were still there. Ryan hadn't done it right. He knew, Shane knew, they both  _ knew  _ that that wasn't how this was supposed to go. But Ryan didn't think he really wanted this one to go right this time.

“Well I know when I'm not wanted. Believe me I  _ know _ ,” Shane said with a smirk and quirk of his eyebrows that still didn't read as quite human but communicated his intention all the same. “But trust me, cute one, I'll be watching. Maybe next time I'll make you call me.”

“Don't wait by your phone,” Ryan said.

Shane laughed, his smile all at once the most and least natural facial expression he had managed.

“Aw don't worry Ryan, I know you'll make the right decision eventually.”

“Oh yeah what makes you so sure this will go your way?” Ryan said, proud that his voice held steady enough to snark at this demon who was watching him with such a steady, amused, and certain gaze.

“Oh well that's easy, I have faith in you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no shade but the selected setting is fucking shady dont @ me. also this whole thing took a weird turn hope it was what you were all waiting for

Fear was a delicious little breed of belief. Irrational, uncontrollable, pervasive. Consuming. The kind of belief that stuck around despite demons changing from the stuff of nightmares to the tropey bump in every horror movie’s night.

The kind of belief a demon might be content to feed on until they got a taste of the heady cocktail that was Father Bergara.

Times have gotten tough for any entity that fed on belief. Belts had been tightened and some had just ceased existing all together. It made crawling your way out of hell that much harder, and when those men of the cloth found you they could slap you out of your borrowed body with an unfortunate ease.

It was the kind of thing that normally made you stay down, lick your wounds, nurse your embarrassment, wait thirty or forty years til the bastard who did it was out of the picture before coming back up and trying again.

Normally.

But normally didn’t account for a bright spot of blind faith that was supporting a network of fear like a tree supports a vine. There was nothing normal about Ryan, a priest who barely believed in god but whose very being sang with an ardent belief in the mysteries of the world around him.

A man who looked a demon in the eyes.

Being cast out of a body that had meant nothing, allowed a plan to form for a more permanent residence on the mortal plane. The feeling of true belief had been dazzling and when wrapped up in a package like that, demons weren’t created to be beings of temperance.

The plan was something of an improvisation, only half a year in the making. A body found to inhabit, taking time to get used to it, finding an underling to exploit. It was the kind of thing that would normally take decades, if those human lifespans weren’t so damn short.

To say things had gone according to plan would be an exaggeration as there was hardly a plan to speak of, but humans were predictable and easy to lead. So much of their decisions based on feeling and so many of their feelings ones they suppressed until they were impossible to ignore. Priests were no different from any other man about town, as much as some would like to pretend it wasn't that way. Guilt and lust, so easy to trigger and powerful enough to override so many months and years of training.

The hospital was such a good place to pick up a meat suit it was a wonder it had never occurred to him to try it before. So many souls begging  _ anything  _ that was listening to end the torment they were experiencing they didn't stop to think what door that would open and who might step through it; but their suffering  _ was  _ over. Human attraction was so superficial, he took his time looking over the ones shouting out into that deep, ever listening void for once before selecting a host.

As a being almost as old as the earth itself, his name had been lost to time, only the higher ups - Lucifer, Satan, beelzebub - bothered to remember theirs. Shane was the one that came with the body and worked as well as any other. It gave Ryan something to try wrapping his mouth around other than demon or evil spirit. Something personal.

Because he was effectively a person now. Until Ryan saw fit to join him, banish him, or this fleshy sack of meat stopped moving. And now that his planning had given way to waiting, Shane was starting to see just how boring life as a human could be.

He had had enough time to familiarize himself with his host this time, taken it out for a bit of a joy ride, and had really gotten the hang of what it could do.

Which left him with what he was doing now. Following Ryan so when he finally made the choice to call out to Shane and give into the temptation to join him he could be there at a moment's notice.

“Will you fucking stop following me like a stray dog!”

The body that Shane had picked up, or Shane's body that he had picked up, had a lot of extra limb to it. Which could make it look gangly, but boy did it loom in the shadows well.

Even as Ryan glared up at the distant corner he was lurking there was that beautiful prickling feeling of someone else's fear crawling up Shane’s neck like a spider. A feeling that flooded over him as he tapped into what little power this body allowed him and jumped over to stand in front of Ryan.

“All that belief in nothing and you don't think the fact that you can feel my very presence is a sign you should join me?”

“No! Because I didn't dedicate my life to my faith just to give it up to become some demon’s concubine.”

Sometimes this new body of his did things all on its own without his direction, this was one of those times, as his eyebrows launched themselves up as his lips stretched apart exposing his teeth. “Why Father Bergara, I am surprised-”

“Oh don't, it's what you implied,” Ryan interrupted.

“No, I implied I was going to use you as an energy source, like the damned Energizer bunny.  _ You're  _ the one who jumped from cute and useful to paramour.”

Embarrassed, much like all of the other looks he had seen on Ryan, was a good look on him. His eyes wide and lips parted in a dopey, caught out expression while his face flushed red. It didn't last long before a fiery indignation replaced it, one could call it righteous if that weren't such a rude thing to accuse someone of being. “Yeah well excuse me for thinking the worst when I'm dealing with an actual creature from hell.”

“You don't really think that's the worst thing that could come from palling around with me.  _ Believe  _ me I know,” Shane said putting a little demonic energy into his response. Letting his eyes flash with a bit of the power he had stored up and smiling in a way he hoped was what the humans considered flirty.

He could feel that prickle of fear response mixed with a tinge of something he was less familiar with but he watched Ryan's throat move as he swallowed around nothing and the tips of his ears go pink and Shane thought he could hazard a guess.

“Didn't you promise you'd show me magic on earth. I'm not seeing a lot of mystic wonder here in Southern California.”

“Is that you promising to join me?” Shane asked, stepping closer to Ryan to get ready to seal this deal.

“No! No, I'm just- what the fuck  _ am  _ I doing making deals with an  _ actual  _ demon. Holy shit, okay, I'm just asking for a dry run. Show me a little magic, a little wonder-” 

“A little romance?” Shane teased.

“You are such a dick, oh my god!”

“Don't knock SoCal then, I'm starting to dig it here, all the traffic reminds me of home.”

“Of course it does. So what travel destinations do you have up your sleeve. Are there satyrs in the vineyards? Actual angels in Los Angeles?” Even as Ryan tried to make fun, Shane could feel the spike of hope with each suggestion. He really was a man so full of faith in the unseeable and the unusual it poured out of him at even the most unbelievable things.

“Nah, I'm thinking something a little more fun. Let's go somewhere evil.”

Panic lit Ryan's eyes up bright but he couldn't manage to step away before the long arms on Shane’s new body caught a hold of his wrist.

“No, nope, I changed my mind,” Ryan said his call for escape bleeding over to the change of scenery Shane had jumped them to.

“Too late,” Shane announced cheerily when it became obvious that Ryan had his eyes screwed shut tight to avoid looking at where they had landed.

Ryan was turned backward from where he'd been facing Shane before they jumped, so the reveal lost a certain something when he said, “And we're in?”

“Anaheim.”

“Ana-” he said, confusion coloring his voice for just as long as it took to turn around, “Disneyland, we're in Disneyland. I thought, no, I get it you were lying okay.”

For all of the great things about Ryan and his humanity, he was easily distracted; and for all those faults of that humanity, Ryan  _ was  _ easily distracted. Which meant Shane could say, “Oh no, this place is super evil,” and let that get him good and going. All so Ryan wouldn't notice as Shane grabbed him by the hand this time and dragged him through the front gate.

“This is the happiest place on earth, they've got a sign, it's says it right there Shane, we’re literally walking right past the sign. Oh, you're fucking with me again, right cause you're a huge dick. Why do I keep forgetting that?”

Ryan wrapped up his meltdown right as they got through the gates, and Shane got to appreciate a moment of feeling pleased and savor the warm pulse of energy of Ryan's hand in his for a second before the talking started again.

“So we definitely didn't pay to get in here, how'd you get us through the gate? Are we invisible right now, can anyone see us? Do you have to touch a person to transfer your weird demonic power?”

“You believe that we’re invisible? But not that the shadiest company on earth might be a hub for evil?”

Ryan didn't answer but Shane didn't need to here one to know that it was a yes. “No, we aren't invisible I just suggested that the teen living the modern indentured servant life look the other way as we slipped through the stroller gate.”

“So why did you need to hold my hand for that?”

Shane decided the best answer would be to try that flirty grin again, throwing in one of those winks for good measure. Ryan pulled his hand from Shane’s grip and crossed his arms in front of his chest in response. 

Shane was starting to think he might need to find a mirror to practice that face in.

“So what are we actually here to see?” Ryan asked, “I don't imagine the magic of Disney is the kind of magic that you guys go in for. Is there a ghost in the haunted mansion?”

The price of true belief, Shane was starting to realize, was a lot of faith in some really stupid things. Ryan may have tried to play this latest suggestion off as a joke, but Shane didn't miss the electric thrill of faith filled energy rocket up his spine at the suggestion.

“Don't be stupid, Ry, ghosts aren't real. You're supposed to be a priest.”

“You'll excuse me for thinking that since I'm talking to an actual demon from hell, and what's that supposed to mean ‘supposed to’?”

“All you guys stay dead until the second coming when all the souls come to be judged, then there's that cute metaphor about goats and sheep, pretty sure that's in Revelations.”

“So what the hell are you all going down there if it isn't torturing all the bad people who go to, well, hell. And did you really just casually drop that the Christian faith and the second coming is true like it's no big deal.”

“Time is a flat circle, all religion is kinda right and kinda bullshit, and ghosts still aren't real,” Shane said, relishing the closed lip smirk that Ryan was doing his best to hide. “Anything else I can ruin for you, baby?”

“No, and don't call me baby that's just too weird.”

Shane wrapped an arm around Ryan's shoulders to steer him away from the entrance of the park, fighting the impulse to list all of the weirder things about this interaction than using a nickname.

“Sorry, Father, won't happen again.”

Ryan shook his head, “No, see  _ that  _ sounds even weirder when you say it and it's way too formal.”

Demons didn't have birthdays but if they did Shane would think today must be it for the gift Ryan had just given him. “Would you prefer daddy?”

All the blood in Ryan's body had to be in his face now, as it lit up bright crimson. Shane could feel him wrestling with the urge to lean in closer and hide his face on the off chance anyone else had heard or to pull away and get as far from Shane as possible. “Baby is fine, or Ryan my actual name.”

“You wanna know what attracts evil to this place? Any theories you wanna lay out?” Shane asked as they made their slow progress through the masses.

“Because you've all got a twisted sense of humor and don't have the capacity to understand joy? No, wait, it's a small world is actually a portal to hell.”

Shane’s body acted for him and he was surprised by it's wheezy little laugh. “You would think, but no.”

“So what is it, how are you going to ruin this place of childlike wonder with all of your bullshit. Which by the way not really the best way to convince a guy to join your legion of darkness, by being a total ass.”

“Oh come on, some of the naivety is an act right?” Shane asked, “I can understand, well actually no I can't but, nostalgia is human but this place really isn't that great! It's made it's money off of the commodification of your folklore, well white folklore but they're starting to branch out, and they charge $6 for a dole whip it's just pineapple and ice cream!”

“Is that it?” Ryan asked, he'd pulled out from under Shane's arm so that he could turn and raise a single eyebrow at him. He was so unimpressed the feeling was radiating off of him.

“No, but sometimes your relentless optimism needs to be taken down a peg. You can be cynical and believe in things.” 

Ryan's face didn't change, Shane was starting to feel like he was getting better at reading it and that felt like a sign that he should continue. “There's a lot of belief here, the so called childlike wonder that you're so hung up on and a tired grown up hope that this fixes something broken. Then there's all the temptation to feed into, you make eye contact with anyone standing next to a booth and you can convince them to steal something. All the money spent here is just an offering to a capitalist god that isn't listening. And like so many people die here, just all the time, they're like sacrifices. There is so much energy here it draws out all kinds.”

“So when you said this place was evil, that was bullshit,” Ryan said, looking a little too smug for his own good.

“Well I don't know, Ryan, what would you call me?”

“A dick.”

Shane laughed, “That six dollar ice cream is still some bullshit.”

“I can see corporate greed on my own,” Ryan prompted, “if this is some kind of trap to lure me in it really isn't a good one.”

Shane really didn't think that was true. They had been meandering through the park at an even pace, walking shoulder to shoulder when Shane didn't have his hands on Ryan's hip or around his shoulders to lead him in the right direction. The pulse of fear and malese had given way to amusement and the low familiar hum of true belief. And Ryan had a megawatt smile that was hard to hide, even if he kept trying. He thought about joking that it wasn't a trap for Ryan, it was all a ploy to get his temptation numbers up cause nothing got unhappy couples cheating like a reminder that love still exists.

It would at least let him see Ryan sputter and blush at the idea that  _ they  _ looked like a couple.

But even a lamb as easily lead astray as Ryan deserves some kind of reward. Or maybe because he's so easily lead, Shane supposed, since he was the lamb stealer in this horribly biblical metaphor.

“We're getting there chill out man. I was hoping you'd stay distracted long enough that we could get in without you freaking out.”

Ryan did sputter at that, and that was a treat. “Freak out? When have I freaked out, I have been the stupid calm this whole time.”

“You are in fact the biggest ball of nervous energy that I have ever seen in my incalculable existence, Ryan Bergara. Now shut up and act like you're supposed to be in this dark hallway that we aren't supposed to be in.”

“What? Shane!” Ryan stumbled a bit as Shane tugged him along down the hallway, he was quick to scurry along to match the pace that Shane's long legs had set. Quick enough that Shane slowed down to match something a little more Ryan's speed, that was less likely to get them noticed if someone else found them down here.

“So what do you think you're gonna see, Ry?”

“Knowing you? I shudder to think, literally I just shuddered. Is this hallway going down?”

Ryan's fear was trickling back, and Shane laughed a little at the feeling. “Oh come on, you don't think I'd bring you here to see anything that bad. We were here for the romance, remember?”

“Yeah this is real fucking romantic, asshole. We're descending into the bowels of somewhere so you can show me, what, Disney's frozen head?”

Now it was Shanes turn to stumble a bit as he stopped in his tracks only to keep getting pulled by Ryan. “What? Why would? Why would that even be a thing?”

“Well,  _ I _ don't know! It's just something people say is out there somewhere! How is that any weirder than like any part of this right now?”

“Boy, you humans are weird. What would the head even be for? Some kind of frozen trophy?”

“I think it's a reanimation thing, like they'll bring him back to life with a cool robot body once the world has cured all causes of death and illness.”

“Good thing that's never going to happen, the last thing your world needs is another anti-semite running around right now.”

Ryan's fear was almost completely gone, replaced by a silence that said plenty and the pulsing feeling of trust radiating from Shane's guiding hold at his elbow that said even more.

He used that hold to slow them down even more so that they came to a gradual stop by a cracked door that was just far enough to the side that it was clear it wasn’t meant to be seen. Ryan clearly hadn’t and Shane barely got a hand over his mouth before their cover was blown. An action that was immediately met with a sharp look of irritation.

“Don't lick my hand, stay quiet, and look through that door.”

Shane pulled his hand back right as Ryan's tongue was poking out from between his lips. Disappointment at a lost opportunity flickered across Ryan's face and Shane felt a moment of disappointment of his own that Ryan's human empathy didn't let him actually feel the burst of amusement that Shane felt at his antics.

“Like the rumors about perversion in the church aren't bad enough, you want me to get busted peeping in the dressing room. No thanks,” Ryan said, crossing his and across his chest like it did anything more than give Shane a nice view. 

“It's the break room, not the dressing room, and those aren't rumors, buddy.”

Ryan did what he was told for once and glanced into the break room, and Shane used that glorious height advantage to peek over top of him to make sure he actually saw what he supposed to. There was power nearby, old power, and Shane could feel it. If he was right about what it was then Ryan was about to see something amazing that he could then blow way out of proportion, it would also mean they'd have to work on Ryan's senses it wouldn't do that they could get this close to something with this much power and have him not even notice.

She probably knew they were watching, or could feel Shane's presence as much as he could hers, but taking the cue when given the woman in the large dress belonging to a character disney had claimed as their intellectual property removed her wig exposing two long and slender pointed ear tips that had previously been hidden.

“So she's?” Ryan whispered as he pulled away from the door, strangely more reserved than Shane had expected.

“One of the fair folk, more Tolkien than Medieval but we change as the faith does.”

“And she just works here, as a, as a princess?”

“Hundreds of children a day coming up to you with nothing but the true belief that you are the most beautiful person they've ever seen in their entire lives, yeah they're not doing too bad here. Just don't take any food from them or leave them alone with the kids for too long, it’s a fine balance.”

“Is everyone-?”

“Don't be dumb, Ry, of course not.”

“Oh because that's such a ridiculous question, there's an elf in the other room!” Ryan said, voice climbing .

It climbed just high enough that it got them spotted. “You two aren't supposed to be down here!”

Another thing they would have to work on is Ryan in stressful situations, the wide eyed shock of caught out panic wasn't a look that Shane had much use for other than making fun of. “You're right we aren't,” Shane agreed, which did not improve that panicked look at all, “we were supposed to be at the other end of the park by now. Just giving the new guy a tour of the place.”

The lone employee looked at them both, eyes glazing over as his lie set in. “You must be our new Shang, welcome to the team,” they said before walking away again.

“You couldn't have used your freaky Jedi mind powers to make sure no one saw us down here,” Ryan hissed, an accusation that would have carried more weight if made before their problem was already dealt with.

“And miss that prime crisis mode Ryan Bergara action?”

“Oh shut up, Shane. Also Shang? Was that you or was that dude just racist?”

“The casting call for those roles looks like a menu for a fussy cannibal so, yeah probably. Or it might have been a compliment, they think you look princely.”

“Oh yeah that means a lot coming from you, i'm sure we all just look like fleshy skin suits to a demon.”

“That might be the creepiest way anyone had ever fished for a compliment. Do you want me to tell you you're handsome, Ryan?” Third time's the charm on that flirty smile, so Shane gave it another shot.

“Wha- no, shut up, quit fucking with me.” 

That unplaceable but familiar feeling from earlier raced down his spine and Shane figured now was as good a time as any to say, “Well, I'd like to say that I'm just getting started, baby, but I guess that depends on you there, Ry.”

“Oh. That’s, that’s it?”

They'd been making their way back through the park since their encounter with the park employee, and as Ryan stopped at the front entrance he mirrored his position from the start of their day.

“Our one magic moment, as promised,” Shane agreed.

“I just thought there'd be more,” Ryan said with a delicious hesitancy.

“There could be more,” Shane said, fighting the urge to react as Ryan perked up, “if you join me.” The open hand he swept out in front of himself for Ryan to grab was dramatic, but he was a demon and should be allowed his theatrical moments when they were presented to him, at least he wasn't down on one knee.

“I don't- one more?” Ryan asked.

“One more?”

“To help me decide, one more,” Ryan said with more certainty this time.

“A second date?” Shane teased.

“Ye-yeah sure, a second date, try to impress me this time, demon boy.”

Shane laughed as he pulled Ryan in close to jump him home, it was rare that he was surprised by anything humanity threw at him but here was Ryan surprising him. Maybe this was a magic moment for both of them.

Happiest fucking place on earth, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://www.formosusiniquis.tumblr.com)


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